First let me say this.
"Hello Gorgeous."
Not you. I'm referring to this blog, which I have, for too long, ignored. I know there could be no excuse that will make my trusty companion (blogger) forgive me, but I must say that being a new mommy did take precedence over almost everything else. Anyhow, now that the lil' guy sleeps through the night (at only 3 months I might add) I have some more time to myself and to this blog at night. And I really have to thank my friend Andrea who called me recently and told me the following story, because it gives me something to write about other than my son.
So here it goes.
I was driving home from work about a week ago, and Andrea called me. We chatted about odds and ends until she suddenly started whispering.
"Ok, I have to tell you what 's going on with my sister-in-law," she said.
"Why are you whispering?"
"Because I don't want Barry to hear."
She has a point. Even though Barry thinks his sister is a bit loony, or perhaps he would use the term "sheltered," he might not appreciate others criticising her for being as such. For example, my husband does not quite like my sister. And I don't mean how most husbands dislike their sisters-in-law. He genuinely does not like her. He will occasionally make a comment and I sometimes have to remind him that it's ok for me to make those same comments, but I don't always want to hear them from him. (Only sometimes)
So, the whispered story continues...
She goes on to tell me that her sister-in-law thinks that someone has put the "evil eye" on her... Over the Internet.
You read correctly. Over the Internet.
Immediately I started to laugh. I don't know if I was laughing because it was really funny, or because anything other than my son's tooting deserves a hearty chuckle. So laugh, I did. For quite a few moments, and then I asked, "What the hell is the evil eye really?" I've heard the term a lot. I know some Italians. Let's put it that way. But, I don't really know how one gets the evil eye put on them or why.
So she explained it and I also did some independent research (since I have so much free time). What I learned is that the Evil Eye has been around "since the beginning of time," said one website. Does this mean that Adam gave Eve the Evil Eye? Because if there was any eye I would be convinced that Adam gave Eve, it was Pirate. I digress. Depending on who you ask, the Evil Eye is actually a compliment. If someone is looking at you enviously, they could send negative energy to you by way of the "third eye" that we all may or may not posses in the middle of our foreheads. (No wonder bangs are back!) Last I checked, I did not have this trait, but I've been wrong before. The evil eye is an unfriendly, indifferent or even blank gaze that just lasts a little too long. If you've seen Juno, then you might refer to this as The Stink Eye, not the evil eye. Anyway, after someone has given you the evil eye, you might find yourself thinking about that person shortly after and for most, if not all day long. Bad fortune is supposed to follow.
In Andrea's sister-in-law's case, she claims to have had weird dreams as a result of this Internet delivered evil eye. I, of course asked which site's she's been on because I'd like to avoid the stink eye myself. Andrea said she goes on social chat sites and believes that someone she might have chatted with put this eye on her. Hmmm. Ok. So this dumb bitch goes to see a priest, tells him her story; which by the way involves dreams of of someone on top of her in bed, and chasing her, or some shit like that. Given that she is so sheltered and basically has no life, I would think she would enjoy such a dream. What what do I know?
So Father So-and-So basically tells her that she's crazy. She must have something on her mind in order to have the dreams (yeah like hoping to one day get laid).
Other things I've learned about the Evil Eye are:
1. In Italy, it is believed that the Evil Eye can cause impotence. It dries up the semen. However a man can ward this off my making the Mano Cornuto symbol with his hand. Perhaps Dane Cook's Super Finger is for impotence as well. I dunno.
2. Jews may spit three times or say "peh-peh-peh", throw salt, or mutter "kein ayin hara" ("no evil eye") when they feel threatened by the evil eye.
3. You can buy amulets or other trinkets that will ward off the Evil Eye. In fact, I found a great Website called Evil Eye Store, where I think Andrea's sister in law can find the help that the priest was not able to provide. Perhaps Andrea should do her Christmas shopping on this site.
Well, that's it for now. I'm going to now go to Facebook and look just a little too long and enviously at some of my "friends" pictures. (Mua-Mua-Muah! Ah! Ah!)
"Hello Gorgeous."
Not you. I'm referring to this blog, which I have, for too long, ignored. I know there could be no excuse that will make my trusty companion (blogger) forgive me, but I must say that being a new mommy did take precedence over almost everything else. Anyhow, now that the lil' guy sleeps through the night (at only 3 months I might add) I have some more time to myself and to this blog at night. And I really have to thank my friend Andrea who called me recently and told me the following story, because it gives me something to write about other than my son.
So here it goes.
I was driving home from work about a week ago, and Andrea called me. We chatted about odds and ends until she suddenly started whispering.
"Ok, I have to tell you what 's going on with my sister-in-law," she said.
"Why are you whispering?"
"Because I don't want Barry to hear."
She has a point. Even though Barry thinks his sister is a bit loony, or perhaps he would use the term "sheltered," he might not appreciate others criticising her for being as such. For example, my husband does not quite like my sister. And I don't mean how most husbands dislike their sisters-in-law. He genuinely does not like her. He will occasionally make a comment and I sometimes have to remind him that it's ok for me to make those same comments, but I don't always want to hear them from him. (Only sometimes)
So, the whispered story continues...
She goes on to tell me that her sister-in-law thinks that someone has put the "evil eye" on her... Over the Internet.
You read correctly. Over the Internet.
Immediately I started to laugh. I don't know if I was laughing because it was really funny, or because anything other than my son's tooting deserves a hearty chuckle. So laugh, I did. For quite a few moments, and then I asked, "What the hell is the evil eye really?" I've heard the term a lot. I know some Italians. Let's put it that way. But, I don't really know how one gets the evil eye put on them or why.
So she explained it and I also did some independent research (since I have so much free time). What I learned is that the Evil Eye has been around "since the beginning of time," said one website. Does this mean that Adam gave Eve the Evil Eye? Because if there was any eye I would be convinced that Adam gave Eve, it was Pirate. I digress. Depending on who you ask, the Evil Eye is actually a compliment. If someone is looking at you enviously, they could send negative energy to you by way of the "third eye" that we all may or may not posses in the middle of our foreheads. (No wonder bangs are back!) Last I checked, I did not have this trait, but I've been wrong before. The evil eye is an unfriendly, indifferent or even blank gaze that just lasts a little too long. If you've seen Juno, then you might refer to this as The Stink Eye, not the evil eye. Anyway, after someone has given you the evil eye, you might find yourself thinking about that person shortly after and for most, if not all day long. Bad fortune is supposed to follow.
In Andrea's sister-in-law's case, she claims to have had weird dreams as a result of this Internet delivered evil eye. I, of course asked which site's she's been on because I'd like to avoid the stink eye myself. Andrea said she goes on social chat sites and believes that someone she might have chatted with put this eye on her. Hmmm. Ok. So this dumb bitch goes to see a priest, tells him her story; which by the way involves dreams of of someone on top of her in bed, and chasing her, or some shit like that. Given that she is so sheltered and basically has no life, I would think she would enjoy such a dream. What what do I know?
So Father So-and-So basically tells her that she's crazy. She must have something on her mind in order to have the dreams (yeah like hoping to one day get laid).
Other things I've learned about the Evil Eye are:
1. In Italy, it is believed that the Evil Eye can cause impotence. It dries up the semen. However a man can ward this off my making the Mano Cornuto symbol with his hand. Perhaps Dane Cook's Super Finger is for impotence as well. I dunno.
2. Jews may spit three times or say "peh-peh-peh", throw salt, or mutter "kein ayin hara" ("no evil eye") when they feel threatened by the evil eye.
3. You can buy amulets or other trinkets that will ward off the Evil Eye. In fact, I found a great Website called Evil Eye Store, where I think Andrea's sister in law can find the help that the priest was not able to provide. Perhaps Andrea should do her Christmas shopping on this site.
Well, that's it for now. I'm going to now go to Facebook and look just a little too long and enviously at some of my "friends" pictures. (Mua-Mua-Muah! Ah! Ah!)
1 comments:
That was totally entertaining! Great story!
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