I've done it. I've gone ahead and started a motherhood blog. It will of course be unlike this one. Most of the content will be "appropriate."
http://new2mommyhood.blogspot.com/
Anyway, you may choose to read this one or not. But if you do, please comment. It makes me feel very special.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Hrrrmph! He's Going to Say No!
So my husband and I asked his brother Tony to be Godfather to our son. He hasn't had any other sacrement other than baptism, so he didn't think he would be allowed by the Catholic Church. I spoke with Father George and it turns out he would be allowed, as long as the other Godparent has them, which she does. Tonight, we explained that to him and he still didn't get a straight yes or no answer, but before we were leaving, I brought it up and he just made a noise.
An, "eeehhhh" noise.
Joe said, "You need another week to think about it." (Which angered me a bit because he already had a week to think about it, so why not have an answer ready for us? We're baptising him in four weeks. Invitations are going out tomorrow or the next day. Family members are going to ask who the godparents are, and we don't have a clue? That sucks.)
It's clear that he is going to say no.
Maybe I shouldn't be bummed, but I am. In fact, I feel quite heart-broken about it.
An, "eeehhhh" noise.
Joe said, "You need another week to think about it." (Which angered me a bit because he already had a week to think about it, so why not have an answer ready for us? We're baptising him in four weeks. Invitations are going out tomorrow or the next day. Family members are going to ask who the godparents are, and we don't have a clue? That sucks.)
It's clear that he is going to say no.
Maybe I shouldn't be bummed, but I am. In fact, I feel quite heart-broken about it.
Monday, March 16, 2009
When Babies Attack!
First He lures in the monkey.
Just as the mommy began to warn the monkey, the baby attacked, ferociously gumming the monkey's head.
"Lets be Best Friends Forever," he suggests with his baby good looks and a twinkle in his eye.
"Sure," says the money, unaware of the danger he's putting himself in.
"Let me just put my arm around you, since we're now BFF," says the baby.
All was calm and serene. The monkey had no idea that the baby began to open his mouth. The baby looked at his mother, as if to ask, "Should I?"
Just as the mommy began to warn the monkey, the baby attacked, ferociously gumming the monkey's head.But don't worry. Mommy was able to make it all better with the help of a wet nap and a sterile band aid.
No monkeys were harmed in the making of this photo-shoot, however I did get a thumb cramp.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Look Into My Evil Eye
First let me say this.
"Hello Gorgeous."
Not you. I'm referring to this blog, which I have, for too long, ignored. I know there could be no excuse that will make my trusty companion (blogger) forgive me, but I must say that being a new mommy did take precedence over almost everything else. Anyhow, now that the lil' guy sleeps through the night (at only 3 months I might add) I have some more time to myself and to this blog at night. And I really have to thank my friend Andrea who called me recently and told me the following story, because it gives me something to write about other than my son.
So here it goes.
I was driving home from work about a week ago, and Andrea called me. We chatted about odds and ends until she suddenly started whispering.
"Ok, I have to tell you what 's going on with my sister-in-law," she said.
"Why are you whispering?"
"Because I don't want Barry to hear."
She has a point. Even though Barry thinks his sister is a bit loony, or perhaps he would use the term "sheltered," he might not appreciate others criticising her for being as such. For example, my husband does not quite like my sister. And I don't mean how most husbands dislike their sisters-in-law. He genuinely does not like her. He will occasionally make a comment and I sometimes have to remind him that it's ok for me to make those same comments, but I don't always want to hear them from him. (Only sometimes)
So, the whispered story continues...
She goes on to tell me that her sister-in-law thinks that someone has put the "evil eye" on her... Over the Internet.
You read correctly. Over the Internet.
Immediately I started to laugh. I don't know if I was laughing because it was really funny, or because anything other than my son's tooting deserves a hearty chuckle. So laugh, I did. For quite a few moments, and then I asked, "What the hell is the evil eye really?" I've heard the term a lot. I know some Italians. Let's put it that way. But, I don't really know how one gets the evil eye put on them or why.
So she explained it and I also did some independent research (since I have so much free time). What I learned is that the Evil Eye has been around "since the beginning of time," said one website. Does this mean that Adam gave Eve the Evil Eye? Because if there was any eye I would be convinced that Adam gave Eve, it was Pirate. I digress. Depending on who you ask, the Evil Eye is actually a compliment. If someone is looking at you enviously, they could send negative energy to you by way of the "third eye" that we all may or may not posses in the middle of our foreheads. (No wonder bangs are back!) Last I checked, I did not have this trait, but I've been wrong before. The evil eye is an unfriendly, indifferent or even blank gaze that just lasts a little too long. If you've seen Juno, then you might refer to this as The Stink Eye, not the evil eye. Anyway, after someone has given you the evil eye, you might find yourself thinking about that person shortly after and for most, if not all day long. Bad fortune is supposed to follow.
In Andrea's sister-in-law's case, she claims to have had weird dreams as a result of this Internet delivered evil eye. I, of course asked which site's she's been on because I'd like to avoid the stink eye myself. Andrea said she goes on social chat sites and believes that someone she might have chatted with put this eye on her. Hmmm. Ok. So this dumb bitch goes to see a priest, tells him her story; which by the way involves dreams of of someone on top of her in bed, and chasing her, or some shit like that. Given that she is so sheltered and basically has no life, I would think she would enjoy such a dream. What what do I know?
So Father So-and-So basically tells her that she's crazy. She must have something on her mind in order to have the dreams (yeah like hoping to one day get laid).
Other things I've learned about the Evil Eye are:
1. In Italy, it is believed that the Evil Eye can cause impotence. It dries up the semen. However a man can ward this off my making the Mano Cornuto symbol with his hand. Perhaps Dane Cook's Super Finger is for impotence as well. I dunno.
2. Jews may spit three times or say "peh-peh-peh", throw salt, or mutter "kein ayin hara" ("no evil eye") when they feel threatened by the evil eye.
3. You can buy amulets or other trinkets that will ward off the Evil Eye. In fact, I found a great Website called Evil Eye Store, where I think Andrea's sister in law can find the help that the priest was not able to provide. Perhaps Andrea should do her Christmas shopping on this site.
Well, that's it for now. I'm going to now go to Facebook and look just a little too long and enviously at some of my "friends" pictures. (Mua-Mua-Muah! Ah! Ah!)
"Hello Gorgeous."
Not you. I'm referring to this blog, which I have, for too long, ignored. I know there could be no excuse that will make my trusty companion (blogger) forgive me, but I must say that being a new mommy did take precedence over almost everything else. Anyhow, now that the lil' guy sleeps through the night (at only 3 months I might add) I have some more time to myself and to this blog at night. And I really have to thank my friend Andrea who called me recently and told me the following story, because it gives me something to write about other than my son.
So here it goes.
I was driving home from work about a week ago, and Andrea called me. We chatted about odds and ends until she suddenly started whispering.
"Ok, I have to tell you what 's going on with my sister-in-law," she said.
"Why are you whispering?"
"Because I don't want Barry to hear."
She has a point. Even though Barry thinks his sister is a bit loony, or perhaps he would use the term "sheltered," he might not appreciate others criticising her for being as such. For example, my husband does not quite like my sister. And I don't mean how most husbands dislike their sisters-in-law. He genuinely does not like her. He will occasionally make a comment and I sometimes have to remind him that it's ok for me to make those same comments, but I don't always want to hear them from him. (Only sometimes)
So, the whispered story continues...
She goes on to tell me that her sister-in-law thinks that someone has put the "evil eye" on her... Over the Internet.
You read correctly. Over the Internet.
Immediately I started to laugh. I don't know if I was laughing because it was really funny, or because anything other than my son's tooting deserves a hearty chuckle. So laugh, I did. For quite a few moments, and then I asked, "What the hell is the evil eye really?" I've heard the term a lot. I know some Italians. Let's put it that way. But, I don't really know how one gets the evil eye put on them or why.
So she explained it and I also did some independent research (since I have so much free time). What I learned is that the Evil Eye has been around "since the beginning of time," said one website. Does this mean that Adam gave Eve the Evil Eye? Because if there was any eye I would be convinced that Adam gave Eve, it was Pirate. I digress. Depending on who you ask, the Evil Eye is actually a compliment. If someone is looking at you enviously, they could send negative energy to you by way of the "third eye" that we all may or may not posses in the middle of our foreheads. (No wonder bangs are back!) Last I checked, I did not have this trait, but I've been wrong before. The evil eye is an unfriendly, indifferent or even blank gaze that just lasts a little too long. If you've seen Juno, then you might refer to this as The Stink Eye, not the evil eye. Anyway, after someone has given you the evil eye, you might find yourself thinking about that person shortly after and for most, if not all day long. Bad fortune is supposed to follow.
In Andrea's sister-in-law's case, she claims to have had weird dreams as a result of this Internet delivered evil eye. I, of course asked which site's she's been on because I'd like to avoid the stink eye myself. Andrea said she goes on social chat sites and believes that someone she might have chatted with put this eye on her. Hmmm. Ok. So this dumb bitch goes to see a priest, tells him her story; which by the way involves dreams of of someone on top of her in bed, and chasing her, or some shit like that. Given that she is so sheltered and basically has no life, I would think she would enjoy such a dream. What what do I know?
So Father So-and-So basically tells her that she's crazy. She must have something on her mind in order to have the dreams (yeah like hoping to one day get laid).
Other things I've learned about the Evil Eye are:
1. In Italy, it is believed that the Evil Eye can cause impotence. It dries up the semen. However a man can ward this off my making the Mano Cornuto symbol with his hand. Perhaps Dane Cook's Super Finger is for impotence as well. I dunno.
2. Jews may spit three times or say "peh-peh-peh", throw salt, or mutter "kein ayin hara" ("no evil eye") when they feel threatened by the evil eye.
3. You can buy amulets or other trinkets that will ward off the Evil Eye. In fact, I found a great Website called Evil Eye Store, where I think Andrea's sister in law can find the help that the priest was not able to provide. Perhaps Andrea should do her Christmas shopping on this site.
Well, that's it for now. I'm going to now go to Facebook and look just a little too long and enviously at some of my "friends" pictures. (Mua-Mua-Muah! Ah! Ah!)
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Letters to The Men in My Life
Dear Husband,
Happy Anniversary, dear.
For three years you've called me wife and I've called you husband, hubby, lovey... and most affectionately... "round head." Well, your head is quite round. While I was pregnant, you called me, "Round Belly," and I think now that I am no longer carrying a child, you should refrain from this errr, endearment.
This morning as I was finishing up the task of changing your son's diaper, I walked out of his room and past the bathroom, noticing something quite disturbing. One wet towel, a pair of boxers and one pair of shorts. You left your laundry on the floor again... right next to a rather empty hamper. We're been living together in what I can only call, ALMOST paradise for five wonderous years now. In that time, I can only imagine that I have told you a hundred or so times that of all the things you could possibly do, leaving laundry on the bathroom floor is the only thing that causes me to become enraged. (Wait, enraged? Is that too much? No! It's not too much. Because after five years, it's gone from, "Gee, that's annoying," to "PLEASE stop doing that," and finally to, "Motivator, please take care of this habit of yours before I cut off your balls and feed them to you.")
Anyhow, I thought you should know that you did it again, and I can only assume that you think it's funny. You probably think I've been kidding all these years, that I actually lovingly look at your laundry every morning on the bathroom floor and think of how lucky I am to be able to pick these articles of dirty clothing up for you.
Well, I'd like to reiterate to you today, on our anniversary... that I don't. And in case I didn't make myself clear, let me tell you that I will cut off your balls and feed them to you for dinner tonight if you don't start picking up after yourself in the mornings.
Whew. I'm glad I got that off my chest. Now we can celebrate our marital bliss.
Your Loving Wife,
Sheri
Dear Son,
Please learn from yoru father's mistakes of you will one day meet the same fate.
Oh, and that was a very good poopie this morning. I'm so proud of you!
Your Loving Mommy.
Happy Anniversary, dear.
For three years you've called me wife and I've called you husband, hubby, lovey... and most affectionately... "round head." Well, your head is quite round. While I was pregnant, you called me, "Round Belly," and I think now that I am no longer carrying a child, you should refrain from this errr, endearment.
This morning as I was finishing up the task of changing your son's diaper, I walked out of his room and past the bathroom, noticing something quite disturbing. One wet towel, a pair of boxers and one pair of shorts. You left your laundry on the floor again... right next to a rather empty hamper. We're been living together in what I can only call, ALMOST paradise for five wonderous years now. In that time, I can only imagine that I have told you a hundred or so times that of all the things you could possibly do, leaving laundry on the bathroom floor is the only thing that causes me to become enraged. (Wait, enraged? Is that too much? No! It's not too much. Because after five years, it's gone from, "Gee, that's annoying," to "PLEASE stop doing that," and finally to, "Motivator, please take care of this habit of yours before I cut off your balls and feed them to you.")
Anyhow, I thought you should know that you did it again, and I can only assume that you think it's funny. You probably think I've been kidding all these years, that I actually lovingly look at your laundry every morning on the bathroom floor and think of how lucky I am to be able to pick these articles of dirty clothing up for you.
Well, I'd like to reiterate to you today, on our anniversary... that I don't. And in case I didn't make myself clear, let me tell you that I will cut off your balls and feed them to you for dinner tonight if you don't start picking up after yourself in the mornings.
Whew. I'm glad I got that off my chest. Now we can celebrate our marital bliss.
Your Loving Wife,
Sheri
Dear Son,
Please learn from yoru father's mistakes of you will one day meet the same fate.
Oh, and that was a very good poopie this morning. I'm so proud of you!
Your Loving Mommy.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Since Enquiring Minds Want to Know...
I've been too occupied to post anything on the blog for some time now. See, I've been hanging out with a really cute guy. He's about 22 inches tall and weighs in now at about ten pounds. Oh, and he's a real cry baby too!
On Dec. 3, 2008 Merrick Alfredo was born, weighing in at a surprising 7 pounds and four ounces (surpising because we expected a large baby). Ten little fingers and ten little toes! He's absolutely perfect in every way.
I suppose as time goes on and I adjust to being a mommy, I will have more time to write about the adventures of mommy-hood and what not, but for now... here's a picture of my little man!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Not Exactly Out of The Water
My brother called me this morning to let me know that he's being reactiviated to the Marines, and will be deployed to either Afghanistan or Iraq. I was devastated to say the least, but as he was telling me the story I was optimistic as much as I could be for him on the phone. Of course as usual, I'm getting this information first and he doesn't want me to say anything to my parents or anyone else. I guess he wants to break the news to my parents in person. This is just going to devastate both my parents and might possibly put my dad of an edge of something. Dad's on a pretty nasty medication right now that causes depression and to be honest, when my brother was deployed the last two times, Dad didn't need this medication to be depressed.
My brother is not a happy kid right now. He's got a gret job as an EMT and a state-side first responded, and he's living with his girlfriend - They've been looking for a new place. He took the policeman's test and is awaiting the results of that. Things were going really well for him, and now this. He said if he had gotten these orders a year and a half ago he would have been fine with it, but today, after two years of being inactive, with two years to go, he is very disappointed.
He is to ship to Missouri on the 19th of this month, and then from there I guess he'll be retrained and deployed, for what he said could be 15 to 19 months. What a kick in the pants! That's longer than his other two deployments which were 6-8 months each.
I told him that this is what he signed up for, and that he'll have to do his duty, but I also understood that it doesn't make the situation suck any less. Of course that was strong Sheri on the phone. As soon as I hung up with him, I was immediately in tears. I really don't want him to go. I want my little brother to be home and safe.
My brother is not a happy kid right now. He's got a gret job as an EMT and a state-side first responded, and he's living with his girlfriend - They've been looking for a new place. He took the policeman's test and is awaiting the results of that. Things were going really well for him, and now this. He said if he had gotten these orders a year and a half ago he would have been fine with it, but today, after two years of being inactive, with two years to go, he is very disappointed.
He is to ship to Missouri on the 19th of this month, and then from there I guess he'll be retrained and deployed, for what he said could be 15 to 19 months. What a kick in the pants! That's longer than his other two deployments which were 6-8 months each.
I told him that this is what he signed up for, and that he'll have to do his duty, but I also understood that it doesn't make the situation suck any less. Of course that was strong Sheri on the phone. As soon as I hung up with him, I was immediately in tears. I really don't want him to go. I want my little brother to be home and safe.
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